Opportunity and timing

Neelima and I felt ecstatic at the first moment we received the admission confirmation from the Kellogg School of management. And then the very next moment we sensed a strange sweet and sour feeling; may be it was the nervousness trying to abate the excitement. The reason...we were pregnant and our second kid is due in October !!

We knew we worked so hard for over an year for admission into the Kellogg School and we knew how much we wanted it, and that we will not miss the opportunity at any cost. But, there were so many questions; how will we take care of Vedant and handle the arrival of new baby? Will the move to the Chicago area make things easy or difficult for us and the kids? What will we do about Neelima's job in Dallas that she likes so much? How do we take care of selling the home and cars? What about finances? If I move alone, are we ready to make sacrifices in living apart for two years? If so, can Neelima handle both kids while I am slogging it out at school?

Perhaps, it would have been a lot easier to sort out things, had we been not on the way for our second kid. But, could we have afforded to wait for a longer time for our second kid and get pregnant only after the admissions process was decided either way? Perhaps not.

One thing I had learnt early in my highly-strenuous academic career (of course, I was lucky to get an excellent mentor who explicitly advised me in this regard) was to not postpone any personal happenings that bring joy for the sake of something in career that is not guaranteed. In the research career, the percentage of rejections or failures is disproportionately higher than the success rate, and possessing an anchor in personal life undoubtedly helps to remain sane !!! I have seen someone not getting married or not having kids at all while working hard to get either tenure or promotion or something else. I believed that if I fail in worst case to accomplish whatever I set out to get, at least I should have some beautiful things left with me to not feel devastated.........and, only Neelima and I know how much correct it proved out to be in our life !!

Often people are shocked when I tell them that eleven years ago when I had to choose between the girl I liked (and intended to marry) and the ambition to pursue an advanced degree (PhD), I was clear in making the decision. I was sensing that the personal relation was putting up a roadblock in what I wanted to pursue and so did not hesitate to let it go.

Did I repeat the same thing again now when I left behind my family in Dallas and moved to Evanston alone? In fact, this time I was very hesitant and concerned to leave Neelima and Vedant in Dallas. But for the strength and determination of Neelima and the unflinching support of her parents and her sister, I could not have done it so easily. More than me, Neelima was particular that I should take up this opportunity and that we should make things work out in our favor. I was lucky to have the family that understands the importance of this transition. All the credit goes to my in-laws for alleviating the troubles in our transition.

The point is, opportunity rarely shows up when the time is right for you. You have to make the time and things work out for you when the opportunity is at the door. Because, the possibility of the opportunity returning to you the second time is as rare as the lightning striking twice at the same place. I believe that one has to decide (on one's own) what is most important and puruse it with focus, quickly securing the things that one cannot live without and leaving behind the rest.

As we made this transition, Neelima and I are still looking to answer some of the questions we faced months ago. But in this process of transition, we certainly evolved stronger and wiser, and are better prepared to face the upcoming challenges.