My Son Reveals My Father in Me

It was 20 years ago; but, I still remember vividly. It was the first day of my Class 10th Board exams. My father came to drop me at the examination center on his scooter. But then, I was surprised when he started walking with me into the examination room; and then, more than being surprised, I felt shy and embarrassed when he walked all the way to my desk, sat on the chair, and checked if the desk and chair were comfortable enough for me to write the exam!! Imagine the situation of a 16-year old boy, being stared at him and his father by all his teen aged friends and peers for the unusual action of a concerned father just before an important exam.

Until recently, whenever I remembered that incident I told myself that I will never get over-excited or do "funny things" when it comes to my kids and put them in awkward situations!! But, now what do I do when in this week we took Vedant to write the Kumon evaluation test (perhaps, the first of a very long series of exams in his life!)?

As I went home from work to pick up the family and go to the Kumon center, Vedant was yet to get ready. We had to push him a bit to get ready quickly, but then I was trying not to "annoy" or "disturb" his mood before going for his "big exam"!! As I was driving, he fell asleep in the car and I was trying frantically to keep him awake so that he will be "fresh" for the test!! As we were a bit delayed, and as we missed the right exit that Austin being a new place for all of us, I was getting more anxious to reach the test center in time.

When he and other kids were taken to another room for the test, I could not stop myself from going and sitting next to him (I just had to make up some excuse that he is too young and may feel scared!!). During the test, when Vedant was finding it difficult to understand a question because of  the way it was asked, I was thinking to myself (we were not allowed to speak) "why is the teacher repeating the question the same way; if the kid did not understand it the first few times, why can't she rephrase it in a different way? c'mon lady, he knows the answer, just that he is not understanding the way you asked it!!!"

At the end, I was not happy with the score he got; No, I was not unhappy with Vedant, I was unhappy with the teacher!! Because, I felt he knows the stuff, just that the test was not administered properly!!! All through the process, Neelima and her cousin Sushmith (my best-match-on-humor-levels buddy, visiting us this week from Dallas) were amused at my fatherly anxiety and had a field day teasing me.

Whenever I narrated that incident with my father, Neelima always supported his perspective saying that he was sweet and "innocently concerned", and that not many fathers can do that. I was not agreeing much with her on that. But now, after observing myself recently with the way I do things around Vedant, may be I am not that different. And in fact, may be I want to be like my father in being "innocently concerned" and unmindful of the people and surroundings when it comes to the success of my son. May be Vedant will feel a bit awkward in front of his friends with my actions sometimes; but may be 20 years later he will be glad that I was like that, the same way I feel about my father now.